Friday, January 8, 2010

The Love Bank

Well, hello everyone! I noticed I start a lot of my posts with that line. It's like....I am talking to my buddies. Probably most of you are strangers, but that's just the way I roll. Ha ha! It's the way I blog- to friends, to family, to's all the same to me.

I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately with the children, my husband, the day-to-day drama of being at home, money (or lack-there-of) and by trying to make time for myself. I am trying to fit in exercise everyday (with wild children crawling all over me, or the treadmill, or the yoga mat), time for blogging, time for just taking general care of myself. Believe it or not, taking a shower, fixing my hair, putting together a stylish outfit...looking my best takes time that sometimes feels difficult or a hassle to make. But, I need to make myself a priority. I have been on a back burner for way too long.

The truth is, the children will not suffer if I take a little longer in the morning to shower, get dressed, do my hair, etc. They will be just fine...and I will feel much better.

It's easy to fall into a stay-at-home rut. It's not for me about being lazy; rather, it's about not caring about myself as much as I care about others. Why? Why do moms do that? I know I am not alone.

It's time for a change.

My children and husband are (and will continue to be) the biggest priority for me; however, without my happiness with myself, I cannot really be the best for them. As mothers, I think we are forgotten about. We forget about ourselves. Our husbands sometimes forget about us. Sometimes, I think mothers are just lost in some dark hole of oblivion-never to be heard from again. In response, moms get fat, unhealthy, depressed, anxious, even sometimes angry or resentful. Then, not only do we become chunky and ugly, we become bitchy. Nice combination. No wonder divorce rates are so high. No wonder there is infidelity running ramped.

We are not victims. Moms just have to remember ourselves. We need to remember our worth; and, remember that our happiness matters. In fact, it should rank up there with that of your husband and children. Without you, the family will not function. If mom's not happy, no one is. So claim your spot on the "important list". Your family will not suffer, but it will flourish. You will be happier, more confident, look better, be healthier, and have a more difficult time losing yourself in the Motherhood. For when we lose ourselves, we are not doing anyone any justice.

So, if it takes a job, do it. If it takes an hour extra in the morning, do it. If it takes exercise, go for it. It's for YOU! Who says that you can't? Who cares? Prove them wrong! Be your biggest fan. Then, it won't matter who else is not. Don't wait for good things to come knock down your door. Chances are, they will not. Go find them!

I heard something on the radio recently that was awesome. Sonny Bono was once quoted (and this is a paraphrase because I am probably not remembering this exactly), You must believe in yourself--even when no one else does. I love this. When I was younger and single, I remember I used to say (referring to the workplace and early relationships) that you must stick up for yourself [when you are unhappy] because no one else will. Well, now I do have people to stick up for me; but, the point is still the same. Being your own advocate--being your biggest supporter will take you places unimaginable. You will become all that you have dreamt of.

Now that I wrote all that....

I also have to do it.

It's not work, it's for you/ me!

Please repeat this mantra along with me,

"Just because I love myself does not mean I love my family less".

Do not let others convince you that you are selfish for caring about yourself and your happiness. You are not!

Your love bank has plenty of room for everyone! You're a mom, remember?

Here is a recent picture of my children...(along with the ones on my left sidebar-taken two days ago).

When I look at them, it is easy for me to see why I continue to put their happiness ahead of my own.


computergrl said...

My precious daughter, you sound like your mother. They say the fruit doesn't fall far from the trees. Thanks for the encouraging words. You are right. It holds true even after our children are grown up and gone and living their own lives. Grand Mothers have to remember to put themselves on the priority list and to remember that they are important too. Mothers are always putting others before themselves even when they become Grand Mothers. We need to watch out not to make it a way of life to always be last. Our health is important, our lively hood is important, our self worth is important, Mothers (and Grand Mothers) are imporant. Love you very much. You are a fantastic mother!!!

Cyndi said...

You are absolutely right. We are better people and mothers when we take care of ourselves too. Great post!

Brandie said...

Definitely take time for yourself. I firmly believe more mothers need to learn to do this. It helps keep you sane (or at least it helps keep me sane LOL!) =)