Copied from my MySpace blog
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
I know what you are thinking. Oh come on....it's one of the most miraculous things your body can do. It's a miracle from God...blah blah blah. Ok, whoever said those things was either male or one of those tree hugger types that finds nothing crappy about anything o'naturale. Maybe it has just been so long that you have forgotten. Actually, whoever said that was definately NOT a woman in her 34th week of pregnancy.
I am currently 34 weeks pregnant. I am a fat blob. My butt is so big that when I get out underwear they appear to be about the same amount of fabric as a typical curtain. No wonder they are so expensive. Another thing...trying to shave- I have to try and hold my breath in order to even bend over far enough to reach my legs to shave them. And shaving my bikini area- oh PLEASE! I haven't seen that vicinity of my body in what feels like years. But, letting it grow wildly happens to turn me off so much that I have had to adopt the feel and cut method. Yes, I am sure it is very dangerous, but you do what you have to do when you are pregnant I suppose. I am sure I do a less-than-beautiful job (considering I cannot reach everything) but then again....no one is looking anyway.
My breasts are ginormous. Yes, some people may feel that this is a perk, so I will go along with that for now. But, I will tell you that they are appearing to be smaller and smaller as my belly gets bigger and bigger. Truthfully, I could go on and on about all of the changes that my body has gone through since getting pregnant but it would really turn out to be such a downer. I will spare you. Let's just say that hormones suck...and leave it at that.
I am hormonal. I am trading off days as either a bitchy maniac or a blubbering lunatic. I suppose my mood may be a little better if I were not at home alone 24 hours a day with a 3 yr old and a 15 month old with no husband in site for oh.....how long now? He has been gone for about 3 and a half of the last 4 months. He will be home in two weeks, but hell, by then I will have begged someone on the street to kill me and get it all over with.
I think, above all, I really hate that I cannot sleep. Laying down is very uncomfortable. Breathing is more difficult and the heartburn is horrible. I have found that laying on my left side (like recommended by physicians), I constantly burp and feel nauseated. Laying on my right side, I have heartburn that is reminiscent of that just-puked taste in your mouth. Plus, the burn in my chest is bad enough to wake me from a deep sleep and is incurable. I still try and put out the fire with 3 extra-strength tums, but I will say this: I will never eat another Tropical Fruit flavored Tums again after this child is born.
So, in closing....I am feeling much better. I got out my hormonal rant. And to all of the o' naturale folks: I'll be right there with ya in two years when I have long forgotten just how much PREGNANCY SUCKS!