Happily he looked up and smiled. It was gone- his first tooth.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happily he looked up and smiled. It was gone- his first tooth.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The photo above is not our tree. Wish it was. The photo above is not our house. Wish it was.
The home pictured above is much too nice,....neat,....and beautiful. This is perhaps symbolic of what our house was BC (Before Children).
The photo below is symbolic of our home (especially during Christmas) AC (After Children).
Thursday, September 24, 2009
In the last few weeks we have experienced a death in our family, my father-in-law.
It has been quite difficult for my family; so, I have been using all of my waking hours and excess energy dealing with, and mainly, helping my family deal with this loss.
Saturday will be a big day- the memorial service.
Once all of this stuff settles a bit, I will be back- sharing my life with everyone again with a vengeance. You know, getting in trouble again for blah blah blahing about everybody who doesn't like me blah blah blahing about them. Ahhhh....'tis what happens sometimes--even if I don't mean to.
Anyway, I have not forgotten about my very sweet bloggy friends and cannot wait to get back to writing (and reading) again. The time for my return is near.
Love to you all, my friends...
Monday, August 31, 2009
Nick started preschool last week. As with any change, Nick has taken a little bit to get used to things. He seemed excited about the school's activities, new friends, and going to a "big boy" school; but, each day at drop-off time the drama was overwhelming.
Picture this: Me holding Lyla in one arm, gripping Jacob's hand with the other as he struggles to break free and plow through the toys neatly organized on the classroom shelves. Then, there's Nick...crying, sobbing, gripping my leg as if to be grasping for the only life preserver in a bright blue sea of huge waves. He continues to cry, "Mommy! Mommy! No! I'm scared!" I try to reason with him and calm his fears while still struggling to keep a tight hold on Jacob and Lyla.
By this time, Lyla is starting to join Jacob in his fight for freedom. Nick is really putting on the dramatics. He clings to my bum and won't move. He is hiding from the teacher who is trying to coerce him to play with the other children. I turn, he moves behind me. I turn again, he follows. Finally, I make the decision to walk out. I just have to leave. He will be fine once I am gone. Plan A: FAIL. Nope. Nicholas continued to grip my leg and would not budge. The teacher and I make a plan B: I walk away with Jacob and Lyla, Nick gets pried from my leg by the teacher. I warned her. I was sure it would be rough. He can get very angry when made to do something. I worried for her....and for Nick. The teacher reassured me, told me that she had four children of her own (FOUR?!) and was so kind and gentle with Nick. Plan B: PASS.
I can't stand this; I detest making Nick do something that he is afraid of. I want to shelter him and calm his fears. But, at some point, this is necessary. The children eventually need to learn how to be independent of me. They need to learn to stand on their own--attending school is just the first step. In a way, it is a little sad. It is just one little inch closer to Nick growing up. Then one day, I will stand looking at him all grown and wondering where that scared little boy has gone. I suppose parenting is all the same here as it is anywhere else. Our goal should be that our children one day function and contribute to society independently. (And not be deranged lunatics, I suppose).
Today's school experience was an entirely different story. At home, Nick told me he was happy to go back to school and continued to rant and rave about school all weekend. I was overjoyed when he didn't totally freak out when we walked in. He still seemed a little nervous, but flashed me his smile as I waved goodbye. No crying....a little whimper, but not bad. Shew!
For Nick, change is hard. I guess with him, one of my goals will be to help him to realize that sometimes change is good and give him the self esteem and self confidence to weather whatever crosses his path. Starting school is stressful, yes...but there is no doubt that he is able to handle this small little change, just the start of all the ups and downs of life.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
5. Mommy of boy covering her eyes
6. Mommy running over to kiss the boo boos
7. Five boxes of Band Aids (assortments of super heroes and Cars themes) ready for use
8. Sore boy-parts from landing on the boys-bike-bar (because someone will not use his brakes)
This is NOT Nick but bears a striking resemblance.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
And, this one...
And... (I only kept taking pictures because Nick demanded it. Then, after each picture was taken, both Nick and Jacob bombarded me, giggling wildly, to look at the picture on my camera.)
Above, Jacob is playing his "guitar" (while dancing).
Can you tell these boys love dancing-- just about as much as I. Hmm...one thought...maybe it is really ME that has no rhythm. Oh no!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
This picture above is courtesy of my husband, who saw it and immediately thought this would be a hilarious representation of Nick's tall-lady friend. Who wouldn't say something about this lady if they saw her out in public? Tell me: are the heels all that necessary?
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Nick has told me several times in the past year that he is going to marry Lyla. I have talked to him, explaining that people typically do not marry their sisters/brothers. He got a little upset with me and snapped, "I said I am going to marry Lyla--and that's the end of it!" Wonder where he got that line? Well, a few days later, Nick changed his mind.
"Mommy, I am not going to marry Lyla, I am going to marry you". I smiled, hugged him and told him that I would love to marry him, but that I was already married to Daddy.
"Well, I am gonna marry you too."
"No, Honey, Mommies don't marry their little boys. Maybe when you get older, you will find a nice girl to marry like Nyki or Quincey" (two neighbor girls of Grandma's that are Nick's age).
I could see the wheels turning in his head. Initially he was interested and agreed.
Then Nick said, "Well, fine. I guess I'll just marry Lyla then!"
Since then, Nick has stuck to his guns. He continues to go between me and Lyla. I guess no other girls compare...yet. :)
Friday, August 7, 2009
Things have been pretty stressful in our home lately due to the mounting illness of a close family member of Rick's. At this time, I will not disclose much about this family member (sometimes everything does not have to be shouted over the internet~so I hear); but, it will probably be mentioned in passing again in the future. I write about issues that impact my life and that of my family--his illness effects our family in a huge way. Unfortunately, we are all now bracing for the worse. Cancer is horrible. Miracles do happen, which of course is what I am praying for. But, as I know quite well, God's plan is not always how we would like things to go. Sometimes the "God, please make _____ better" changes to "God, please free ____ from his fight. Whatever your will. I will accept it". My prayers for this person have not yet made this change. Maybe I am too selfish and just do not want my family to go through this. I know that with time, the prayer will change. Unfortunately though, time is exactly what he does not have much of.
I am trying grab at some sort of positive in this family crisis; but, it is pretty difficult at this time. For now, I will just lend emotional support to Rick and the rest of the family and continue the prayers that the boys, Rick and I have said every night for the last seven months of this battle.
For the age of our children, we have had to talk quite a bit about death with them. Their fish died. And, another fish died. And, four more fish died. Then, I almost miscarried when I was pregnant with Lyla. And, lastly, when Lyla was ill when she was 3 months old, her physicians did not believe she would make it home. No one did. So, now again, we are faced with talking about the potential death of someone to whom they are very close. Why discuss this if it actually has not happened? Well...honesty. Our children are quite perceptive and always want to know where everyone is. Where's Daddy? Where's Mommy? We choose to tell them. I think Rick and I both feel that death is a part of life. As for me, I hope having discussed this with them, they better understand the natural course of life and God's role in it.
We have chosen to describe "death" as "going to Heaven"; even though when I say that I am not always sure that is actually where they are going. Really, where do fish go when they die? Fishy heaven? Or, do they just simply cease to exist? What about the "bad guys"? Do they go to Heaven? That's really between them and God; but, for simplicity, they are "going to Heaven" as far as the boys are concerned right now. They are a little bit too young to discuss the ins and outs of Hell versus Heaven. Come on! Thankfully, I have a couple more years before I have to explain that. But, as for the whole topic of death, there has been little way to get out of that discussion.
Tonight, while talking about our family member...
Me: _____ is very sick and in the hospital. Daddy is there now to see him. He is so sick, he may go to Heaven. Everyone is very sad.
Jacob: (smiling at his marvelous idea) ______ needs a sucker!
Nicholas: (kicking around and laughing hysterically) No, Silly! _____ doesn't need a sucker!
Me: Well, maybe a sucker would make him feel better. Good idea Jacob. (now thinking of how to get _____ a sucker in the hospital)
Nicholas: Hmm...well, I sure hope they have a sucker there for him at the hospital then.
Innocence--isn't it beautiful?
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
So, I am going to cut this short and promise to resume after I catch up a little in the sleep department.
The swimming lessons have been interesting to say the least, so there will be updates on that for sure. A little hint: tears and snot everywhere...again--but lots of fun too!
OK, until later...
Sweet dreams and very little tears and snot for you all!
Monday, August 3, 2009
I will post a picture of the new bike soon enough. We are pricing out a really cool Tony Hawk bike. Probably $50 more just because it's Tony Hawk. Oh well. It's cool....and so is Nick! :)
Thank you again Ty for your kindness.
Your Blog Is Fabulous Award: In accepting this award, list five current obsessions and pass the award on to five more fabulous blogs. Make sure to link back to the person who sent the award to you; and also, include the links of those blogs to which you are passing the award. Don't forget to let your winners know that they received the award from you by posting a comment on their blog.
(Really, these are things I am working on obsessing about)
1. Working Out--granted, not seeing huge results yet, but I am trying not to get discouraged. Exercise is good for my physical and mental health.
2. Making Unique Dinners--I have gotten in a rut of making the same ole, same ole things for dinner. Although it is easy, I have been exploring new dinners. So far, the children and Rick have been receptive and even excited.
3. Worrying about my diet as much as I worry about the children's-- I think many mothers forget do this. Remember: Mommy's health is important too.
4. Setting apart time for fun for me--getting pedicures and manicures, making spa day appt and actually GOING, making appt to get my eyeliner tattooed. (Given to me as a gift a while back) Finally shopping with my gift cards (without the children, so I can actually try on things and browse)
5. Remembering that fun needs to be a priority with the children. If too much work occupies my time, parenthood is much too overwhelming. The children need the fun and so do I!
So, swimming lessons started today for Nick and Jacob... Soccer registration for Nick is this week.
Rick (AKA Hubs), Lyla and I will also attend these fun activities.
Congratulations Ladies! You guys rock! I love your blogs and am thankful for your kindness and/or humor.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I should have known from the moment that I got my Special K Berry flavored waffles out of the toaster and they were soggy that I should have just gone back to bed. If only I could have; I am sure I would have. But, that's not this mommy's life--nor will it be for many years to come or has it been now for many years. Sleeping in...
But, truthfully, not sleeping in is not the real problem I have with today's events. It was the rest of the day that makes my stomach turn.
After our normal breakfast routine, I had a big plan for the day. I had several errands that needed to be accomplished. With our few stops ahead of us, we all headed out to the car, loaded up in our seats and were off--the three children and I. So I thought.
I turned the key....click click click....(nothing).
Damn it. Dead battery. Well, since my freakin' new minivan with a whopping 6000 miles had a dead battery now for the second time since buying the thing, my patience was running thin. Luckily, we have one of those car jumper things that can jump your car. Since I had to do this same thing only a few months ago, I was getting pretty good at it. Flip on the car jumper, plug it in, attach the jumper cables. Easy.
Problem: silence. The battery was so dead that it was no longer chargeable with the jumper. I cussed, thought about how I would now have to inconvenience Rick to help his incapable wife on his birthday. Oh well. He married me. He knows.
So, I called, restated that we loved him, said Happy Birthday again, then broke the news. He came home, followed all of my previous steps, then decided to jump the van with his truck.
Great. But, frankly, now I didn't want to turn off the car or go anywhere that was too far. I didn't want to be stranded on the other side of Las Vegas with three young children and no ride. Or worse yet, get broken down on the side of the road- not in this town.
So, I ditched all of the errands and drove to the car dealership. They charged me $50--unfair, but not worth an additional fight. Because, by the time I was talking to the woman about the charges, I had had enough argument. Have you ever had to control three children (aged 4, 2 and almost 1) in a car dealership?
Maybe I could have walked them around the parking lot...in the 115 freakin' degree temperatures! Or maybe I could have allowed them to have all of the sodas, candy and chips that they were banging on the vending machine window for? Or, maybe I could have begged one of the several happy senior citizens also waiting for their cars to help? I could tell by the looks on their faces that they were jealous. I know they wanted to be me. With my messy hair pulled back in a glamour-do and my ratty falling apart flip flops from three years ago with my dried out skin and my chipped toenail polish. Maybe they just wanted to be me because I was so obviously enjoying myself as I tried to wrangle the children without publicly grabbing them forcefully by the arm and threatening their very existence while in front of others. Then again, I know...it must have been the maternity-turned-post-child-no-longer-can-afford-to-give-a-shit wardrobe that adorned my fat ass and thighs. Pheew! For a while I was wondering if anyone would be jealous of me again.
Then, a glimpse of God...a ray of sunlight shone through the clouds (that I almost missed as Jacob was hitting and kicking me while screaming at the top of his lungs): my phone rang. It was Rick's step-mother who offered to come to the dealership and bring lunch for the children. Awesome! She brought their favorite: McDonald's. I could not have cared less what the hell she brought. As long as someone else was there-- someone that could rescue me even for a little shred of a second from my personal mommy hell.
Did I mention that the reason Jacob was screaming was because he was trying to squeeze Lyla's head like a grape while attempting to give her a smoosh-my-face-into-your-face-so-hard-you-can't-breathe kiss. Lyla responded appropriately with a terrified look on her face, followed by wailing. Great. Then, trying to control my anger, I told Jacob to sit in the chair beside me for a time out. He screamed too, then hit me, tried to claw me, flung himself to his favorite resting spot (the floor), rolled around for a while until he was yanked up and placed in the chair. He continued to kick, even smiled when he managed to actually hit me, or the stroller. RRRGGHH!
All of this drama continued for two hours. I did find some solace in a glass room that the dealership had blocked off. The room had a couple of very dirty children's books and a small rolling cart with a few dirty blocks. Ah hah! The kid's room! Great! Now my children will catch the Hiney virus (Also Known As H1N1) by playing with these filthy toys. Hey, at least they will not be attracting so many fans. I was sure the paparazzi would bust in any moment for some quick shots of us.
The one thing about this room was that although it had no door, it blocked much of the area that my children were able to freely run from my grasp. It also had two blown up balloons with attached strings that were resting at the ceiling. Great. Occupied. For...oh....15 minutes? That's great! I wasn't complaining.
Finally after ravaging our Happy Meals, the van was ready. I have never been so damn happy to get out of a place.
We went home, the children napped for about an hour and a half, then we had to race off to get Rick a birthday card. We no longer had time to get him a gift, make him a cake, do anything special. His gift was now that we were alive. That's it. We went to the store, had more of the average fun at the grocery store, and managed to make a five minute trip into a 30 minute drama session by simply being in Jacob's presence. As I was checking out, Rick calls wondering where we are. I bit his head off. I couldn't help it. I was sure that in the background he could hear why I was so happy.
Once again, Jacob was trying to hurt Lyla and kick Nick, Nick was fighting back, Lyla was screaming, then Jacob started screaming because Nick was hitting him back. Fun times. So, needless to say, Rick was totally pissed at me.
I tried to apologize, but that attitude was really short lived. He followed my apology with, "Why didn't you get milk and paper plates when you went to the store?" and "Why did you get me another cake? I had one at work." That was it. I was on a roll again. Now I was mad at Rick...and the kids....and myself for forgetting those things, and having three children that are lunatics, and leaving my happy life and career to do the impossible job of being a stay-at-home mother, and being chosen by God to be a parent....and being chosen by Rick to be his wife....etc etc. I could have gone on and on. I must have been on a roll.
And, tomorrow, I wake up and do it all over and grovel for Rick's forgiveness for ruining his birthday.
Do you see why us mothers often go completely insane? It's not us...it's everyone else DRIVING us insane! Can you also see why sometimes motherhood (and stay-at-home motherhood) is so difficult? Just in case you don't know--just in case you are one of those old people who were so jealous of me at the car dealership.