Monday, April 27, 2009

Trash Men

It was a good morning. Although my children all were awake at the same exact moment that the sun just peeked over the horizon, my husband was still home and he started the whole morning routine for them. As I drug myself out of bed, I figured that since my husband was still home I would hurry and get dressed. My aim was to subtly remind him what a beautiful wife he will return to by choosing my most fashionable morning attire. A black tank top (left over from yesterday's wardrobe) with several small food splatter marks from yesterday's dinner, blue sweatpants that grip my thighs in the perfect way, and my glasses from several seasons ago- no bra of course. I knew if the sweatpants did not work, surely the tank top would. My wardrobe choice was ideal for accentuating just what a lucky man my husband is. By drawing more attention to my pendulous 38 long sized breasts, he would surely be running gleefully home as soon as the clock hits 5 this evening.

After giving my husband a long wet kiss at the door-morning breath an all, I heard the trash man approaching in the distance. The highlight of each Monday and Thursday morning is watching the trash truck collect our trash. I thought that I would give my children a special treat today and allow them to see the action up close. I quickly gathered them, opened the door and let them all stand on the porch watching. The huge truck approached; and, the nice driver honked his horn and waved. The boys returned the wave, flailing their arms around wildly. I noticed the nice man who was loading the truck barely glance in my direction. I figured that he must think that he is much too high class to associate with us. We watched the truck drive off and returned inside.

Once we came in, both boys happily exclaimed that they knew exactly what profession they were going to be later in their lives: trash men. I tried to hold back my emotions as I was really so very proud of them. When I felt as though there was no way I could possibly be more fulfilled, Nicholas told me he didn't want to just be a trash man, he wanted to for sure be the guy who is putting the trash into the back of the truck-"not just the trash guy who was driving".

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