Today....I have once again, for the five hundred eighty-seventh time in my life, decided that I am a fat @&*! Yes, it is the same story....blahbitty blahbitty blahbitty blaaaaah! But, I always seem to have to reach the fed-up-point before I actually do anything about it and stick to it.
Back when my husband and I first got together, I reached that point. I changed what and how much I was eating, making changes in my diet that were for the most part pretty permanent. I was dedicated to working out at least 5 days a week, like a good girl and made large portions of vegetables more a part of my diet. Those two things....exercise and veggies, seem to be the key when it comes to my body. I used to try just cutting back on portion size, but found that alone, it really did not work. Sometimes, I would cut back so much that I would skip entire meals, and still, nothing lost....sometimes weight gain. How is that fair? So, I would get discouraged and more depressed. What a vicious circle!
When I finally got into a groove that I was losing weight and feeling wonderfully about myself, I got pregnant. After Nick, I did resume working out when I could, but found it more difficult to make the time. It took me longer than I had hoped, but I did lose the weight from that pregnancy. Then, came Jacob. Once again, I was a postpartum wide-bummed mommy. I was determined to get back on track, but again, found it difficult. When Jacob was 4 months old, we moved across the country, I left my promising career, and became a stay-at-home mom. The amount of stress was outrageous and I found myself making a ton more excuses to myself why I had not lost all of the weight. I still had about 12 lbs from my pregnancy with Jacob when I discovered I was pregnant with Lyla. Jacob was 7 months old. AAAGGHH!
I was NOT ready for that. But, I got over it, and we have a beautiful baby girl now. So, now that I know for sure that all of the baby-making is done, it is time for me to get back on track. Not only will I look and feel better, but I will be healthier and happier. I cannot really be happy unless I am happy with myself. So, the plan is, I will make a schedule to include exercise and really try desperately to stick to it. Without a real schedule, I will not ever make the time. The three children do keep me so busy during the day that without a plan or schedule, I am doomed. I have been trying to incorporate this for a few months now and have had some difficulty. But I HAVE to make this work. I know I will do fine with the diet part, I just have to tell myself that it is time. Then, I will pack on a big pile of green beans (plain-not cooked in fat) on my plate and a little less carbs and meat.
It is hard as a mother to try and put yourself first. Sometimes, people even criticise you for doing exactly that. But at some point, you have to make yourself a priority. When you don't, you risk losing a part of yourself. So, it's OK to say,"Everyone has to wait for me to do......"(whatever). Because in doing something for yourself, even something very small, you really gain so much. Then, you end up with even more (of you) to give. A happy mom is always a better mom.
I am sure some of you are thinking..."Oh great! Glad I tuned in to read this blog...another blog about this chick's weight problem." But, I don't care. It's my blog and I can cry if I want to! It just happens to be what is on the forefront of my mind right this moment. But don't worry, something else will be replacing it soon.