Thursday, April 9, 2009

Not All Change Is Bad

When my husband and I first got together, I remember picking up some subtle hints that he did not want to ever have children. At the time, I didn't really mind. Most days, I wasn't sure he would last long enough that it would matter. What a grouch!

Well, time went on and we became more serious. Knowing that I did want children, I decided it was time to have "the discussion". I hate these type discussions when you are dating, but one day they have to happen. So, I approached him on a very happy day. He stuck to his guns, stating that children were probably not in his future. Thinking that he was much too selfish to ever become a good father anyway, I cut my losses and told him that our lives were going in different directions. I reminded myself of the rule I was living by: Never ever change your religion, get rid of a pet, or change your decision about future children for a man. At the time, men seemed so unreliable. I was not willing to bend on those issues if a few months later they would be out the door anyway. And, my relationship with God.....change it for someone else? No way-not me.

Fast forward nine years and here we are. How times have changed! If you had told me back then that I would be sitting here now, I would not have believed you. Really, I always wanted children but never thought I would have three! You would have never convinced me that I would ever be a stay-at-home mom. I had a very rewarding career that I loved. I would have never expected to live in Las Vegas. At that time, I really never cared to ever visit LV-let alone relocate.

I think there are a lot of things that both my husband and I did not expect. But, we both honestly love where we have ended up. Don't get me wrong- Las Vegas has not exactly been great for us. If I go into all of that I could write another ten pages. What I mean is, as far as our life with our relationship and our children, things have turned out wonderfully. We both know that we are lucky. We have three healthy, smart, beautiful children that can always erase a bad day the moment we walk through the door. We have each other and really love one another deeply. It is just as it should be. I, rather we, still have my dog; and, I have not left my religion or pushed it aside. I know I am very blessed and realize that at any moment things could change. They always can. But for now, I choose not to worry about what horrible things could happen. You can't live life like that. I can choose to look at all I do have, all the changes that have been good in my life, and thank God for it.

Oh, and by the way, Rick has really turned out to be an awesome father- the selfishness of his younger years barely evident. I could really ask for nothing more.

No comments: