I went to the doctor today because I have been increasing moody since giving birth to Lyla. I have found myself very depressed and irritable- overly stressed about everything. Since having Lyla and getting my tubes tied, I have not had to resort to birth control pills-something that has been a part of my life for a long time. All of this moodiness left me wondering, Is this who I really am [off of hormones]? I am a much less stable person. I decided that I needed to just get a few things checked and make sure that I am not off of my rocker for some other reason.
My OB/GYN agreed that the issue is probably hormones and increased stress combined with little rest, but he took some blood and scheduled a couple of tests over the next couple of weeks. He also told me that because I have migraine headaches with a aura (visual disturbances), he will not give me a prescription for a low dose birth control pill until the headaches are evaluated by another physician. Bummer. He further explained that he believes the pill would probably alleviate most of my issues- but again, he won't give me any. RRGGH! It's not like I have all the time in the world to schedule doctor's appointments going here and there and everywhere traipsing three small children around. If I get lucky and find someone to watch them-i.e. my husband, he is not in town very often. I am also stuck in the weird rut where I feel guilty every time I ask anyone to watch the children. I need to get over that.
Another thing that was not-so-great was that my blood pressure was sky high. I have never had any issues with my blood pressure. But, again, I believe my nerves are just shot and my stress level has reached a new level. So, for my own health, I better get to caring about myself as much as I care for my children- and chill out. If my blood pressure has not improved by my next visit, I will add that to the list of things that needs to be discussed with the other doctor.
So, all in all it was a visit that did not really hold much good news. I am not sure what I wanted. Did I expect that I would walk out of there cheerful and rejuvenated? But, I did some medication that is supposed to help with hormone-related moodiness. I am not a medication lover, so I am sure if more than a few seconds come up and I feel back to normal, I will promptly discontinue taking them. I know, I am a horrible patient. I just do not want to take medications unless I really need them.
I will keep everyone informed as I find out more info and results from my tests. I am sure nothing is seriously wrong. I just need a tall glass of wine to sip while in a bubble bath (in a bathroom that overlooks a white sand-covered beach with crystal blue waves crashing on the shore). The children can be present in this dream-but they are just snuggled in their beds in an adjacent room dreaming of castles at Disneyland and sleeping until at least 8AM.